The Best Strategy of All
August 15th 2010
Archive for the ‘Spirituality’ Category
I Changed States-And my State Changed
August 11th 2010
OK, we’re not talking strictly geography here, ‘tho in this instance it’s relevant.
If you’ve been following my travels, you know I’ve gone from Florida to North Carolina. My trip abruptly became unrecognizable from the trip I had planned. The universe clearly had other plans for me.
So-without repeating the long and very boring story, I am here. ALONE. 100% devoid of any companionship other than Addy and Ed, the dogs. Thank God I fought for them being part of this trip.
Anyhow, this turn of events has completely changed my STATE. Yes, I’m in a different state, but mostly, and more importantly, I’m in a different STATE.
Like I am seeing things differently. Hearing things differently (including the Boogy Man at 3 am-I don’t sleep til the sun rises. Oh crap I am a vampire).
My golf/hiking/dining/laughing/bonding trip is now just me and a rocking chair on a porch, and let me tell you–things look very different through this lens.
Bridal Veil Falls, NC
So I went, camera in hand, to Bridal Veil Falls. Gorgeous, but very quickly clear to me that any photo op would have to be jacked from whomever was there.
So I asked a nice lady if she would take my photo, and she replied. ” ARE YOU ALONE?????? OMG, you are so brave!”
I got, very clearly, that my trip, ALONE, was such a state change that I was seeing everything differently than anyone else.
ALONE is cool. ALONE is often necessary. ALONE refocuses oneself on what matters most. There is no one around to boss you, agree with you, argue with you, love you, fight with you, kiss you, hold you, yell at you.
Yeah, alone is brave.
It’s just you.
And you.
Talk about a change of state.
My state right now is creative and content.
And, more tired than ever before in my life.
The boonies are scary at night, and I’m there, eyes wide open and heart pounding, sitting sentry so the dogs can sleep well.
Holy Crap.
This is some weird state.
Are you a Critic or a Creator?®
July 31st 2010
People will tell you who they are. All you have to do is listen. - Oprah Winfrey, on the best advice Maya Angelou ever gave her.
I recently had the privilege of coaching and strategizing with a young woman who is starting her own business. She had reached maximum pain in her life - the point at which people change - and was ready to cast off her fears and go for it.
Ready, yes, but was she willing?
We had to identify her needs and how she was fulfilling them. We spent several days in intensive sessions, first identifying who she was, finding her core values and discovering the whys of her existence.
What we found was rich and fertile potential for a successful business, yet potentially deal-breaking if she was not willing to dig deep and understand why she behaved as she did.
She was not willing. Predictable, given her very obvious judgment, anger and victim issues. Willing is a big step. Her greatest need is for attention, and she has gotten it through these behaviors.
I knew we’d have to revisit this, because herein would lie her strategy.
We moved on and uncovered a delightful whitespace in which she could operate with little competition and high odds for success. [Shameless self -promotion: This is the plum I dig for each time I work with businesses, and I always find it.]
All along, I knew there was a brick wall out there with her name on it, and she was running toward it.
Off she went to find clients. Each day she returned more unhappy, heavy, more defeated. She wasn’t getting the response she wanted. People weren’t respecting her voice or opinion. They weren’t taking her seriously. Sometimes they weren’t letting her participate in the meetings. Some just plain didn’t like her.
She was showing up as who she is and the responses she got were commensurate. These were the same responses she had gotten her entire life.
It was clear that until we healed the demons, nothing, including her business, would work. So in short order, she was right back where she started - in maximum pain. Nothing had changed.
The lesson? Your business is personal, no matter what anyone says. It’s about you.
How you show up in business is how you will be treated. Human beings operate on polarities, just like magnets. A good, strong business connection is the result of a deep commitment to showing up with integrity, honor, trust, and heart, and giving WAY more than you take.
Today, more than ever before, this is true. The paradigm has shifted, and the cold, corporate culture is no longer viable.
Business is relationships. Good business is about respect.
So how do you show up? What are you telling people about yourself? Are you a critic or a creator? The answer will absolutely determine your success in all you do.
You. Me. Some. One. Now.
July 30th 2010
♥ Someone you haven’t yet met is already dreaming of adoring you.
♥ Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life.
♥ Nuns in the Alps are in endless vigil, praying for the Holy Spirit to alight the hearts of all of God’s children.
♥ A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, “nourish them.”
♥ Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you. Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favourite food is, and treat you to a movie.
♥ There are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering and for the flourishing of your happiness.
♥ Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you — for free.
♥ Something is being invented this year that will change how your generation lives, communicates, heals and passes on.
♥ The next great song is being rehearsed.
♥ Thousands of people are in yoga classes right now intentionally sending light out from their heart chakras and wrapping it around the earth.
♥ Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way.
♥ Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they’ll be thriving like never before. They just can’t see it from where they’re at.
♥ Someone who is craving to be partnered, to be acknowledged, to ARRIVE, will get precisely what they want — and even more. And because that gift will be so fantastical in its reach and sweetness, it will quite magically alter their memory of angst and longing and render it all “so worth the wait.”
♥ Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche — this luminous juju is floating in the ether, and is accessible to you.
♥ Someone just this second wished for world peace, in earnest.
♥ Someone is fighting the fight so that you don’t have to.
♥ Some civil servant is making sure that you get your mail; and your garbage is picked up; that the trains are running on time; and that you are generally safe. Someone is dedicating their days to protecting your civil liberties and clean drinking water.
♥ Someone is regaining their sanity. Someone is coming back from the dead. Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable. Someone is curing the incurable.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
You. Me. Some. One. Now.
Have Tissue Ready to View ‘Breakthrough With Tony Robbins’
July 14th 2010
Note from Patty Soffer: Not long ago, Tony shared with some of us a preview of his new show and the story behind how it came to be. It’s amazing and inspiring, like everything he does.
Recently I was told that one of my “friends” was making fun of my taking “self-improvement” courses. Well, listen up people. Tony Robbins is to self-improvement what LeBron James is to schoolyard basketball. This guy is no motivational speaker. He is a FORCE OF NATURE and to commit to learning from him is to demand the best of yourself and nothing less. I am honored and grateful to be his student. Be sure to watch. July 27, 2010 on NBC.
Article courtesy of Beck/Smith Hollywood; 7.14.10
When motivational guru Tony Robbins debuts his powerful new NBC “Breakthrough With Tony Robbins” reality show July 27, viewers will see such astonishing stories as that of a man who broke his neck at his own wedding reception and became a quadriplegic – who discovers he can still have a full life through a string of challenges that includes skydiving over Fiji. He and his wife…well, have the Kleenex ready.
Robbins tells us that there was so much more story to each of the six hour-long shows he’s prepared, “We’re going to do a ‘Breakthrough’ Insider kind of site. These were 30-day journeys, and so much more happened than we can show.”
Indeed. Late legendary basketball coach John Wooden gave his final pep talk to a single athlete — Juaquin Hawkins, once known as the Oldest Rookie in the NBA, who in 2008 suffered a stroke that ended his career and left him unable to speak. Wooden’s meeting with Hawkins was part of Robbins’ plan to help him find his way to a new life.
“It was the last thing John Wooden taped, and it’s not even on the show,” says Robbins. It will be on the website.
So will the behind-the-scenes saga of the tragedy-touched wedding couple, Frank and Kristen Alioto, who are seen in the premiere, and their harrowing trip to Fiji. According to Robbins, it took some doing to even convince them to leave their house, she was so worried about his seemingly-fragile state. “They’ve become dear friends,” he says. “They sent me a message: ‘Guess where we are? Camping.’”
Not surprisingly, Robbins says he’s been approached numerous times about doing a reality show through the years. He warmed to the idea as the economy got ugly. On a “Today” show appearance, he found himself with three minutes to impart wisdom on how to cope. He wanted a better way.
“I’m not one for b.s. positive thinking, but showing people whose life is slammed, step-by-step how they can turn it around – no matter how tough your life is.” He has two executive producers from “The Biggest Loser” and one from “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” with him on “Breakthrough.”
With his crammed schedule of 50-hour seminars around the world, prison work and other service activities — in addition to 12 companies — Robbins says he’ll have to find a way to clear time to do more shows. “If the audience is there, we’ll do more next year.”
That’s Enough.
July 11th 2010
If one adopts a child who arrives with a multitude of problems created at the hands of others, is one obligated to correct every issue in the first two years of the process? Is it even possible?
You all know the answer.
So why do people expect President Obama to do just that with America?
Our country is a troubled, damaged, over-fed, undernourished child emerging from years of all manner of abuse. Curing our ills will take patience, time and wisdom.
Predictably, it’s the very abusers who are now screaming the loudest.
Stop. You have done enough. We need compassion and creativity, not complaints or cruelty.
We’re not going to out-scream you. That’s a game with no winners. Instead, we’re focused on nurturing this country and its people back to health.
We would love to have you join us. If not, please step aside.
You’ve had your turn. Now it’s ours.
What’s It All About, Alfie?
May 22nd 2010
Recently, I had one of those very casual get-to-know-you conversations with a new friend who is probably 6 or 7 years younger. I mentioned some upcoming Eric Clapton/Steve Winwood/Santana concerts. The response I got was, “Boy. Those guys are old. And not relevant anymore.”
What was probably intended as a simple musical commentary (my friend is a lovely singer/songwriter) landed in my lap like an unpinned grenade, loaded with all the human uncertainty and pain feeding our universal existential crisis (just look around, people).
I know. Big reaction on my part. Overreaction. He meant no harm. I’m just at this time in my life. I hear and feel things much differently than before.
The sheer abandon with which the line was delivered hit that nerve that’s in us all at one time or another in our lives:
– What’s it all about? Why are we here? Do I matter? Does it matter?
I’m not the first person to ever ask this question, mind you. I’ve read everything from the early philosophers to Kenneth Burke thru Alan Watts and Tom Robbins, who knows that Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, and passionately devour musical lyrics, which I consider poetry. So we know the question is one for the ages.
If Eric Clapton et.al can commit their lives to creating and forever changing the way music is played - and be tagged as irrelevant - then what is relevant?
Is Bill Clinton still relevant now that he’s not President? Buzz Aldrin? I mean, really, that old fart walked on the moon 50 years ago. HE’S SO OLD. What about Tony Bennett? Abraham Lincoln? My father?
We are all part of the soundtrack of someone’s life. How can that not be relevant?
The universe is not a happy place these days. Perhaps it’s because we’re all too quick to toss things and people off, without even once considering the heart of the matter. Without making any attempt to really connect and feel each other.
No, I am not having a midlife crisis. I don’t want new boobs, a tighter jaw, jewelry, a rich-and-almost-dead husband, a new car or any of that stuff.
It’s not about the stuff.
It’s about the heart of the matter. It’s about making a difference. Like everyone, I want to matter. To somebody. For some value I brought to their life. For making a connection and contribution that nothing can ever take away. Even when I’m so old.
Hilarious. But Make No Mistake About the Message.
April 21st 2010
With love and thanks to my great friend Joe Lombardo, who is climbing mountains daily with a clear view of the summit.
